The Byte Bandit

Does anyone know who wrote the Byte Bandit virus for the Amiga? Please, let me know...

... because I want to punch them.

Thrifty Friday

Whilst sitting in my coworkers' office, swearing at a hard drive enclosure that just didn't want to be assembled, I was informed that a huge gaping hole existed in the armpit of my relatively new t-shirt.

So I stapled it together.

In other news, I bought a 2004 Toyota Echo. While not necessarily a proof against thriftiness, it does provide a measure from which to gauge my thrift.

The Queen vs. Terry Jones

Lucian Freud's 2001 portrait of the Queen, which has garnered much adoration and criticism from the viewing public, was painted during a number of sittings between May 2000 and December 2001.

Freud, over-excited at the notion of painting Her Majesty in all her glory and blinded by the gleaming Diamond Diadem pictured atop her cranium, failed to realize that he was actually painting Terry Jones in drag.



Hawt.

Random Musings, Part 2.

I am so manly, even my feet have balls.

Examples Which Illustrate Why I Cannot Walk and Talk Simultaneously at Night While Alone

1. While walking home in a snow storm, I came across a fellow walking toward me through the snow. As he passed me, he said "Hello." Immediately, my mind began processing an appropriate response. The final two contenders were "good day," and "hello," but before my mind was ready, my mouth started talking. I ended up replying with "Gaydo."

2. I found myself admiring the houses on my street as I walked home one night. Some of the houses were really beautiful, and I began to wish that I could have the chance to live in them. One house to my left, however, wasn't of my liking and so I said aloud "God, what an odd looking house. I don't like it." Since I was busy looking to my left, I didn't notice a man walking toward me. I did notice him, however, once he had turned up the driveway of that odd-looking house, glaring my way.

3. While talking to myself, I passed by an apartment complex. I said something which, at the time, I found completely hilarious and began to laugh. As I did, an attractive woman leaned out of her apartment window, saw me, shriveled her nose, and ducked back in.

4. After laughing aloud at another silly thought, I received an odd look from a couple who had just emerged from the shadow caused by a street light shining near a tree. When I noticed them, I quickly set about singing "Laughing" by the Guess Who. I'm not sure they were convinced.

Perhaps I should just stop talking to myself. At night. While walking in the city.

Random Musings, Part 1.

When excited, men with penis-fingers are unable to make a fist.

Unusual Day

I've deemed this day unusual as a result of the following:

1. While taking the garbage out of my apartment, the hall lights turned on by themselves. Further inspection showed that both light switches (which operate the same set of lights) were in the same position; as a result, the lights should have been off. Once I returned from taking the garbage out, I noticed that my washer was smoking. I ran a test load afterward, and it operated normally. The lights went out when I flicked one wall switch from on to off again.

2. A 4-year-old asked me to be her boyfriend when she grew up. I was barbecuing on the front deck when she and her father (our new neighbours) passed by. All I could do was politely suggest that such a conversation was better suited to older people. In response, she gave me a Sobeys sticker.

3. My rabbit walked a short distance on her hind feet. This actually happened a little while ago, but seemed unusual enough to warrant inclusion in this list.

It's too hot.

My taint is sweating.